How personal joy can transcend fashion rules

Let’s talk about the fashion rules.

The ones that dictate whether a color flatters your skin tone, whether a shape “works” for your body type, what bag belongs to the daytime and which lipstick should wait until after sunset. The rules that tell what style is acceptable for a wedding, a work dinner, or even a casual Sunday brunch.

I don’t believe rules are useless. In fact, they can be helpful. They act like gentle guidelines, pointing us toward harmony, aesthetics, coordination. But let’s be honest: rules can also feel like a leash. Too grounded. Too restrictive. And if fashion is supposed to be an expression of self, then why should it ever feel like homework?

When joy comes before the rulebook

Picture this: it’s your monthly Sunday lunch with friends. The mood is usually “casual cozy.” But this time, you slip into something a little extra. Maybe it is a colorful dress, a bold piece of jewelry, or even a sequin top in the middle of the day (because really, there’s no expiration date on sparkle). You arrive feeling light, radiant, unapologetically yourself.

Did you break a rule? Probably. Did the world collapse? Not at all. If these friends are truly friends, they won’t be tallying fashion infractions they’ll see your energy before your outfit. They’ll notice how joy looks on you, because joy is magnetic. And when joy enters the room, no one remembers the dress code.

Fashion rules tell us how to blend in. But joy? Joy makes us unforgettable.

Photographer: Massimo Gianelli

Why joy matters more than rules

Psychologists call it “enclothed cognition” (I wrote about it in my post: "The science of style or how your outfit shapes your success”). The idea that what we wear shapes how we think, feel, and interact with the world. Put on something that sparks joy, and suddenly you’re not just dressed, you’re alive.

Rules are about conformity. When joy is about individuality.

And here’s the secret: joy always outlasts rules. You’ll forget which handbag was “appropriate” for what dinner, but you’ll never forget the night you wore a tutu to a party and laughed until your stomach hurt. Joy isn’t just in the outfit but it’s in the memory stitched into it.

Joy as a guide

So, how do you dress for joy?

-Wear what makes you laugh. The sweater with neon colors, the unexpected socks, the shoes that make you dance when you put them on.

- Wear what makes you feel powerful. A sharp suit, a bold color, or even just your favorite red lipstick at 10 a.m. on a Monday.

-Don’t save joy for special occasions. If sequins make you feel unstoppable, why should they wait for New Year’s Eve?

The trick is simple: stop asking “Is this right?” and start asking “Does this spark joy for me?”

Conclusion

Fashion rules are not villains. They can guide us, inspire us, even help us find balance. But they should never silence us. The real priority, I mean the only one worth keeping, is joy. Because joy is what lingers long after.

Clothes will wear out. Rules will change. But the way you felt in that dress, that suit, that daring shade of lipstick … Believe me the confidence, the laughter, the sparkle, they will stay with you long after the outfit is gone.

So next time you’re standing in front of your closet, forget the rulebook. Choose joy instead.

Because rules tell you what to wear.

But joy? Joy tells you “why”.